Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
