she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
two words...techno handjob
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
