Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
