strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
