If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Randomize
