She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
