i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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