So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
