just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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