Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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