watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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