No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
