The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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