have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
