how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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