she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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