I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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