he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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