Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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