You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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