I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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