you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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