don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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