She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
