i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
