He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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