He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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