Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Houston, we have a blender
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
