I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
We need to rekindle our bromance
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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