We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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