its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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