My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
