It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Randomize
