you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
3 2 1 whiskey
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
