she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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