I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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