that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
