You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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