I just pynch a tree in the face
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
