38 yer olds are good kisserssss
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
