Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
