Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Randomize
