Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
She even gives head with a lisp.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
