Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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