Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
