i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
