hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
