There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
