He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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