I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
