well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
