adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
