with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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